Iguazu2

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So I haven’t written anything in a long time.  I’ve had a rough month I guess, though that is no excuse.  I’ve sat down a few times and tried to write something and either nothing came to mind or too much.  Since I last wrote I’ve tried several different medications for seizures and mood stabilization.  I haven’t had anymore seizures, but I don’t know if my mood is exactly stable or not.  Maybe it’s not ever meant to be that stable.  🙂  I would certainly hate to be boring, but I guess I will just have to keep my thoughts monitored to make sure that I am somewhat normal vs crazy.  Now if I could just get someone to affirm these thoughts for me.  For now I cam keeping them to myself.  I find it much more enjoyable that way.

My cure for my depressed episodes has been the sun, music and reading.  I know that sounds like everyone’s idea of vacation and I guess it’s kind of mine too.  It’s a vacation away from being sick and all it’s implications.  However, it’s also a way for me to stay in denial about a lot of things in my life.   I’ve also been cleaning a lot just for the simple quick gratification of getting something productive done.  For everything I get cleaned I get 30 minutes outside.  So the house is half clean and I am half tanned.  Sometimes my version of cleaning is really just moving shit around, but it feels like I am getting something done.  And my tan is literally only on the front of my body.  Soon I will have to start changing some things around.

Right now, the left side of my body is numb.  So after a long trip to the ER I received a dose of Solu-Medrol and prescription for Prednisone.  In layman’s terms those are both just steroids.   Trust me when I say that I am really looking forward to becoming even more moody and gaining another  10 pounds.  I went for a walk today because of the weight issues and I am going to have to make myself do that everyday.  It hurts like hell on my ankle because of all that damage, but it’s necessary I believe.

To end this post I going to leave with a thought that just came to mind.  It’s spring time in Georgia and the weather has been sunny for a couple of days and then tornado/thunderstorm weather for a day or two.  This has been going on consistently for about 3 weeks now.

I feel like the weather.

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